I Don't Understand Contemporary

Reddits comment selected by Mauzy Virginia on January 3, 2012
Written by reddit.com on January 2, 2013
Arranged by Chris Barker on January 12, 2013
Published in Issue 005

I don't understand contemporary art.

At all.

I remember going to the Guggenheim one year,
(when I was in high school)
and there was a piece of wood
with a three inch piece of old rope
nailed to it,
on the wall.
This was considered one of the
"signature pieces of the time."

I COULD HAVE MADE THAT SHIT IN MY GARAGE.

If it's not little beads,
arranged to look like a 16 bit nintendo character,
it must fucking suck, RIGHT?

Its made by an "artist"
and called "art,"
so it must have "value," right?

YOU SHOULD HAVE PASSED GAS ON TOP OF IT,
AND SAID,
"NOW ITS FART!!"

I upvoted,
in hopes that people can look at this and say,
"THAT IS BARELY FUCKING ART!"
"and entirely STUPID it's at the Guggenheim!"
(If so i had a few similar experiences there, photographer here)

Nothing depresses me more than art,
such as this,
that makes more money for the artist,
in one creation,
than I do in a WHOLE YEAR.

If it has to be accompanied by a lengthy explanation,
IT ISN'T ART. (to me, anyway)

I was at a museum in D.C.–
cant remember which one–
several years ago.
In the middle of the room
was very large,
unfinished plywood box,
with the lid fallen into the box–
very rough cut,
stuff not polished,
or finished,
or ANYTHING.
It looked like it was the box
that they moved some large statue,
or something else, in.
In the process of taking a picture
of something on the wall,
I leaned up against the box.
The security guard rushed over
and sternly told me to move way
from the "art."
I almost laughed,
thinking it was a joke at first.
~TL;DR~
I realized I dislike contemporary art in Philly.
Reminds me of this artwork,
ANY HOME DEPOT DUDE COULD DO.

I'm avoiding doing gallery art,
because I feel that even if it does have "meaning",
people will ignore it.

For modern art shit,
I'm pretty sure I've had more emotions
while I've TAKEN A SHIT
than some modern artist have
while making ALL THEY CAN–
that's "art".
"Contemporary art."
(lol)

AND THAT ISN'T EVEN A NEW CONCEPT.
If some of you thought it was,
just look at Duchamp's "fountain."

Art fags have been art fagging it up for a long time.
"Why should skill and practice
be a prerequisite for creating art?"
IT'S NOT!!
It SHOULD be a prerequisite for being
"renowned" for your art.
This sculpture sold for $1043 million,
a few years back at auction.
Just think about that!

I've learned the hard way
whenever you're in an art studio,
NEVER sit down, man.

I have to become a minimalist artist.

FINE ART MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP OUT OF A WINDOW.
I just cant understand
how the whole trend of basic objects
taken out of context
and becoming "art" has been used
over
AND OVER AGAIN
since Marcel Duchamp signed a toilet,
almost 100 years ago.
It was an interesting idea in 1917,
but in 2013?!?!
After the same idea
has been used THOUSANDS OF TIMES?!?!
ITS INFURIATING.
Idk, top end fine art is generally
reeeaaaly
fucking
SHIT.

Now, not that by any stretch is it ALL terrible.
Someone probably worked really hard
squeezing that turd out.

You want to make modern art?
Do this:
get a paper plate,
and jack off onto it,
so the semen gets in the center of the plate.
And get some ketchup and squirt it
around the semen,
in a circle,
so that it looks kind of like this.
Finally,
when they ask you what it means,
say, "Its something about how the natural
is being surrounded by the unnatural,"
or some crap like that.
BOOM!
"Modern art."

Because you don't have an art degree,
that says any piece of shit
I glue to another piece of shit
is worth THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
That's "art."
It looks like something
I would put together as a rush job,
in an afternoon,
to be a platform for something that was definitely art.

Dumbass art experts!
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT ART IS,
because its fucking subjective.
You sit on a throne of LIES.
(Clearly, that's an upside down cheesecake)