Gchat I Have Enjoyed

Words selected with permission from an interview with Jessica Roy.
Written by Tao Lin on September 25, 2008
Arranged by Arjun Srivatsa on January 30, 2013
Published in Issue 006

g   c   hat

i have enjoyed features of both
texting new york

i became a little
alienated from the friends

i had i decided to
focus really hard on writing

it was a time of intense loneliness
but also a time of medium productivity

i think i achieved my goals because


i am now in a different situation
i believe

i dont like to think about that

i dont want to think about this at all

i think it would be funny if livejournal buys the new york times


in two thousand twelve
or something

i try to express
     Δ crippling loneliness
     Δ severe depression
     Δ the arbitrary nature of the universe
     Δ the function of morality within an existential view
     Δ confusion
     Δ existential despair
     Δ and that consciousness means we must choose in a tone that i feel will affect
       people including myself to not want to kill themselves not want to do self
       destructive things and not want to be inconsiderate to people


my poetry is ultimately life affirming
i think

it is completely not calculated when i incorporate:

the internet
energy drinks

i feel natural when i type about:

the internet
energy drinks

when i do the opposite

when i block out:

the internet
energy drinks

i think, is when i am consciously attempting something
then at some point i had feelings like i don’t care anymore


im alone all the time

and what difference does it make and started writing what was really in my brain which at the time was mostly the internet and feeling alienated

i think i view abstract criticism and praise with medium to severe detachment that is at times wry uncomprehending or amused


                             i  look   at the   computer screen
                             with a  neutral facial  expression
                             if    someone     criticizes    my
                             concrete    actions   in  concrete
                             reality  i  do take  that  into if
                             someone    criticizes     my   non
                             rhetorical   writing  or if   i am
                             feeling  really   existential  and
                             like my life is art               
                                      one time recently 

                             someone made like sixty comments on ten
                             to  twenty  different  blogs about how i
                             cant be    


i had no money

i did not want to have a job anymore for the rest of my life

i get royalty checks from my publisher

i promise to myself that i will never get another real job for the rest of my life


this may be an illusion
im not sure

my advice for nyu students

who want to go into writing

is i don’t know

what advice to give you